The A's have acquired Kila Ka'aihue from the Royals. The jokes on Twitter
abound: Brad Pitt, "new market inefficiency," "old market inefficiency," etc. It
appears that no one has made a "Billy Beane thinks first basemen are Pokemon and
wants to collect them all" joke yet, though, so here:
Daric Barton is Parasect:
good at defense, surprisingly good attack despite a lack of power and speed.
Parasect's "metamorphosis has been stunted and it instead resembles a grotesque,
exaggerated version of its former self" -- Barton was never supposed to have
this freakish a walk rate or this little power. The Barton that exists now is an
exaggerated version of his minor-league self.
Chris Carter is Machamp:
excellent power results in a good offense, but not worth much in any other
dimension. Machamp and Carter both have "bad dexterity, and cannot handle
delicate work without [their] arms getting tangled."
Brandon Allen is Cacnea:
perhaps a bit less power than Machamp, also not so much with the speed and
athletic ability, but "well adapted to the harsh desert environment." It is
questionable whether Cacnea/Allen can thrive in a less arid atmosphere such as
that found in Oakland.
Kila Ka'aihue is Gible:
formerly from the tropics, Gible like to "hide in their holes and wait for prey
to pass by." Substitute "fastballs" for "prey" and note that Gible's attack is a
lot better-regarded than its defense.